If I Was The Priest

There’s a light on yonder mountain
And it’s callin’ me to shine
There’s a girl over by the water fountain
And she’s askin’ to be mine
And Jesus is standin’ in the doorway
In a buckskin jacket, boots and spurs so fine
He says, “We need you son tonight up in Dodge City’
’Cause there’s just too many outlaws tryin’ to work the same line”

Now if Jesus was a sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
If Papa rode shotgun for the Fargo line
There’s still too many bad boys tryin’ to work the same line

Well sweet Virgin Mary runs the Holy Grail saloon
For a nickel she’ll give you whiskey and a personally blessed balloon
And the Holy Ghost is the host with the most, he runs the burlesque show
Where they’ll let you in for free and they hit you when you go
Mary serves Mass on Sunday and then she sells her body on Monday
To the bootlegger who pays the highest price
He don’t know he got stuck with a loser, she’s a stone junkie what’s more she’s a user
She’s only been made once or twice by some kind of magic

If Jesus was a sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There’s still too many outlaws tryin’ to work the same line

Well things ain’t been the same in heaven since big bad Bobby came to town
He’s been known to down eleven, then ask for another round
Me, I’ve got scabs on my knees from kneeling way too long
It’s about time I played the man and took a stand where I belong
Forget about the old friends and the old times
There’s just too many new boys tryin’ to work the same line

If Jesus was a sheriff and I were the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun for the Fargo line
There’s just too many outlaws tryin’ to work the same line

Well there’s a light on yonder mountain
And it’s callin’ me to shine
There’s a girl over by the water fountain
She’s asking to be mine
Jesus is standin’ in the doorway
Six guns drawn and ready to fan
Said, “We need you son tonight up in Dodge City”
I told him I was already overdue for Cheyenne

If Jesus was the sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There’s still too many bad boys tryin’ to work the same line

If Jesus was the sheriff and I was the priest
If my lady was an heiress and my Mama was a thief
And Papa rode shotgun on the Fargo line
There’s still too many bad boys tryin’ to work the same line

If Jesus was the sheriff and I was the priest